The essay is a reflection on the infirmities of married people, focusing on the love and respect they have for their wives. The author criticizes the quarrels between men and their wives, arguing that they are often too loving and unrepentant in their preference for each other. He also criticizes the display of married happiness, which is pure, unrecompensed, and insulting.
Marriage is a monopoly, and it is the cunning of most possessors of exclusive privilege to keep their advantage out of sight so that their less favoured neighbors may question the right. However, these married monopolists thrust the most obnoxious part of their patent into our faces. The author finds the complacency and satisfaction in the countenances of new-married couples, particularly the lady, distasteful.
The author also criticizes the excessive airs given by married individuals when they come to have children, as they are not natural-born subjects and may be tempted to bring their spices, myrrh, and incense. They argue that children are not only rare but also often turn out ill and defeat the hopes of their parents, leading to poverty, disgrace, and the gallows.
The author believes that it is unreasonable to love a whole family, even if it does not seem necessary, as children are so engaging. He could forgive their jealousy and dispense with toying with their brats if it gives them pain, but he thinks it unreasonable to love all the pretty dears, especially when there is no occasion.
The proverb “Love me, love my dog” may not always be practical, especially when the dog is set upon you to tease or snap at you in sports. However, a child’s nature is too serious to be regarded as a mere appendage to another being and to be loved or hated accordingly. Children have a real character and an essential being of themselves, and their nature is too serious to admit of being regarded as a mere appendage to another being.
The author is more nice about children, as there is something in the tender years of infancy that of itself charms us. The prettier the kind of a thing is, the more desirable it is that it should be pretty of its kind.
In addition to being admitted into their familiarity, a husband must be admitted into their office to be new stamped with their currency. There are various ways to insult and worm you out of their husband’s confidence, such as laughing at your words, staring at you, and exaggerating or ironing. The good man understands that it is all done in compliment to you, and by relaxing a little on his part, he sinks into a kindly level of moderate esteem, where she can join in sympathy with him without much stretch and violence to her sincerity.
The essay discusses the common impropriety of married ladies treating their husbands as if they were their wives, and vice versa. This is evident when they use their husbands with familiarity and with ceremony, such as keeping them late for supper or touching one in his absence. This reversal of good manners is an invention to take off the uneasy feeling that we derive from knowing ourselves to be less the object of love and esteem with a fellow-creature than some other person is.
The author protests against the vicarious gluttony of Cerasia, who sent away a dish of Morellas to her husband at the other end of the table and recommended a plate of less extraordinary gooseberries to her unwedded palate in their stead. She also cannot excuse the wanton affront of——.
The essay suggests that married ladies should amend and change their manners, or they will be recorded in full-length English to the terror of all such desperate offenders in the future. The author acknowledges that there are no ceremonies that ladies are bound to observe to their husbands, but they must strive for modest behavior and decorum.
In conclusion, the essay highlights the importance of understanding the differences between married women and their husbands, as well as the need for married ladies to change their manners and respect their husbands’ opinions. By doing so, they can create a more harmonious and respectful relationship between them and their husbands.
Charles Lamb The Old and the New School Master Summary
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