Introduction
The poem “Affliction I” is a devotional poem that deals with the relationship between humans and God. It contains many religious elements and it has influenced many modernist poets as well. It interrogates the divinity and the theodicy arising elements of internal conflicts between faith and doubt in the poem. It is a poem that can be read as a reconciliation in faith with God despite suffering and misery in life.
Stanza I
When first thou didst entice to thee my heart,
I thought the service brave;
So many joys I writ down for my part,
Besides what I might have
Out of my stock of natural delights,
Augmented with thy gracious benefits.
These lines describe the initial allure and excitement the speaker felt when his heart was first captivated by God. The speaker thought that offering his service or loyalty would be a brave and worthwhile endeavor, as he believed it would bring him numerous joys and pleasures. He even listed out the joys he anticipated, in addition to the natural delights he already possessed, expecting that his experiences would be enriched by the gracious benefits that God could provide.
These lines reflect the speaker’s optimistic and hopeful mindset at the beginning of his relationship with God. He expresses the belief that by dedicating himself and embracing this new connection, he would gain access to a wealth of happiness and fulfillment. It highlights the initial excitement and anticipation that often accompanies the start of a new venture of relationship.
Stanza II
I looked on thy furniture so fine,
And made it fine to me;
Thy glorious household-stuff did me entwine,
And ‘tice me unto thee.
Such stars I counted mine: both heav’n and earth;
Paid me my wages in a world of mirth.
These lines talk about the speaker’s admiration and fascination with the beautiful and luxurious belongings of God. The speaker mentions looking at the fine furniture and how it became precious and attractive to him. The glorious household items entwined and captivated the speaker, enticing him further towards God.
The speaker goes on to describe how he considered these belongings as his own, as if he owned the stars in both heaven and earth. The speaker feels that the world rewarded him with joy and happiness, as if he was being paid wages for his connection to God.
These lines highlight the speaker’s deep appreciation for the aesthetic and material aspects associated with the divine. The surroundings and possessions played a significant role in drawing the speaker closer and fostering a sense of happiness and fulfillment.
Stanza III
What pleasures could I want, whose King I serv’d,
Where joys my fellows were?
Thus argu’d into hopes, my thoughts reserv’d
No place for grief or fear.
Therefore my sudden soul caught at the place,
And made her youth and fierceness seek thy face.
These lines suggest that the speaker, as a loyal servant to his king, believed that he had access to all the pleasures and joys he could desire. The speaker reasoned that since his companions or fellow servants were experiencing happiness, there was no room for sorrow or fear in their thoughts. This optimistic mindset led the speaker’s eager and passionate soul to embrace the opportunity and eagerly seek the presence of God they were serving.
In essence, these lines convey the speaker’s conviction that by serving his king and being surrounded by joyful companions, they had no reason to feel anything but happiness and contentment. The speaker’s enthusiasm and eagerness to seek the presence of his king reflect his unwavering loyalty and dedication.
Stanza IV
At first thou gav’st me milk and sweetnesses;
I had my wish and way;
My days were straw’d with flow’rs and happiness;
There was no month but May.
But with my years sorrow did twist and grow,
And made a party unawares for woe.
These lines describe the initial stages of the speaker’s life, where he was provided with nourishment and sweetness, symbolized by milk. During this time, the speaker’s wishes and desires were fulfilled, and his days were filled with joy and happiness, as if every month was as pleasant as May.
However, as the speaker grew older, sorrow gradually intertwined with his life experiences, unexpectedly creating opportunities for sadness and grief. These lines convey the bittersweet nature of life, where moments of happiness are eventually accompanied by the inevitable presence of sorrow.
Overall, these lines reflect the passage of time and the inevitable ups and downs that come with it. They highlight the contrast between the carefree and joyful early years and the eventual introduction of sorrow and challenges as one grows older.
Stanza V
My flesh began unto my soul in pain,
“Sicknesses cleave my bones;
Consuming agues dwell in ev’ry vein,
And tune my breath to groans.”
Sorrow was all my soul; I scarce believ’d,
Till grief did tell me roundly, that I liv’d.
These lines highlight the speaker’s physical and emotional suffering. The speaker describes how his flesh and soul are intertwined in pain, with sicknesses affecting his bones and consuming fevers running through his veins, causing him to breathe in groans. Sorrow becomes the dominant emotion in the speaker’s soul, and it is only when grief firmly reminds him that he is alive that he truly comprehend the extent of his suffering.
These lines convey the speaker’s intense experience of pain and sorrow, both physically and emotionally. The speaker’s words reflect his deep anguish and the overwhelming presence of grief in his life. It portrays the profound impact that suffering can have on one’s existence, reminding the reader of the reality of pain and its ability to shape one’s perspective.
Stanza VI
When I got health, thou took’st away my life,
And more, for my friends die;
My mirth and edge was lost, a blunted knife
Was of more use than I.
Thus thin and lean without a fence or friend,
I was blown through with ev’ry storm and wind.
These lines emphasize the speaker’s experience of loss and the subsequent impact on his life. The speaker expresses that when he regained his health, something else was taken away from him – his life. Additionally, the speaker mentions the death of his friends, which further contributes to his sense of loss and sorrow.
The speaker describes how his joy and enthusiasm were diminished, comparing himself to a blunt knife that was no longer useful. He felt vulnerable and unprotected, lacking both physical and emotional support. The speaker metaphorically portrays himself as thin and lean, easily affected by every storm and wind that came his way.
Overall, these lines highlight the speaker’s feelings of being constantly battered by the hardships of life. They convey a sense of loneliness, grief, and the profound impact that loss can have on one’s well-being.
Stanza VII
Whereas my birth and spirit rather took
The way that takes the town;
Thou didst betray me to a ling’ring book,
And wrap me in a gown.
I was entangled in the world of strife,
Before I had the power to change my life.
These lines highlight the speaker’s sense of being trapped or confined in a life that he did not choose. The speaker mentions that his birth and spirit led him towards a path that would have taken him to the town, symbolizing opportunities and a more vibrant existence.
However, the speaker feels betrayed because instead of experiencing the excitement and freedom of exploring the world, he was confined to a “ling’ring book” and wrapped in a metaphorical gown, which suggests a more restrained and limited life. The speaker expresses a feeling of being entangled in the struggles and conflicts of the world, even before he had the power or agency to change his circumstances.
These lines convey a sense of frustration and resignation, highlighting the speaker’s desire for a different life and the realization that external forces have shaped his current situation. It speaks to the tension between personal aspirations and the constraints imposed by society or circumstances.
Stanza VIII
Yet, for I threaten’d oft the siege to raise,
Not simp’ring all mine age,
Thou often didst with academic praise
Melt and dissolve my rage.
I took thy sweet’ned pill, till I came where
I could not go away, nor persevere.
These lines talk about the speaker’s experience of being influenced by academic praise and how it impacted his actions and decisions. The speaker mentions that he often threatened to abandon his pursuits or raise the siege, which could refer to his resistance to conforming to traditional expectations or norms.
However, the speaker acknowledges that when faced with academic praise, his rage and resistance would melt away. He would be swayed by the sweetened pill of recognition and validation, which made it difficult for him to leave or persevere in his original intentions.
These lines highlight the power of external validation and the impact it can have on one’s choices and sense of self. It speaks to the speaker’s struggle between staying true to oneself and succumbing to the influence of others, particularly when it comes to academic or societal expectations.
Stanza IX
Yet lest perchance I should too happy be
In my unhappiness,
Turning my purge to food, thou throwest me
Into more sicknesses.
Thus doth thy power cross-bias me, not making
Thine own gift good, yet me from my ways taking.
These lines address the speaker’s perception that God has been causing him further distress and unhappiness instead of helping him find true happiness. The speaker suggests that God throws him into more sicknesses or troubles instead of offering a remedy or solution.
The speaker expresses frustration with God’s power over him, as he feels that His actions are contradictory. Despite having the ability to provide a gift or assistance, God’s influence seems to lead the speaker away from his own path or desires.
These lines highlight the speaker’s disappointment in the actions of God and his struggle to find genuine happiness amidst the challenges he faces. It reflects the complexity of relationship with God and the impact it can have on one’s well-being, sometimes unintentionally leading one astray from their own goals and aspirations.
Stanza X
Now I am here, what thou wilt do with me
None of my books will show;
I read, and sigh, and wish I were a tree,
For sure then I should grow
To fruit or shade: at least some bird would trust
Her household to me, and I should be just.
These lines indicate the speaker’s sense of longing for a purpose or meaningful role in the world. The speaker expresses a feeling of uncertainty about what to do with his life, as none of his books or sources of knowledge can provide an answer.
The speaker reads, sighs, and wishes to be a tree because he believe that as a tree, he would have a clear purpose. He would either grow fruit or provide shade, and in doing so, he would earn the trust and reliance of a bird who would make a home in their branches. The speaker desires the simplicity and fulfillment that comes with having a defined role and being able to fulfill it.
These lines convey a sense of yearning for a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as well as a desire for connection and trust from others. It reflects the speaker’s longing for a more meaningful existence and a sense of being valued and needed in the world.
Stanza XI
Yet, though thou troublest me, I must be meek;
In weakness must be stout;
Well, I will change the service, and go seek
Some other master out.
Ah my dear God! though I am clean forgot,
Let me not love thee, if I love thee not.
These lines describe the speaker’s resolve to remain humble and strong in the face of trouble. Despite the challenges he faces, the speaker acknowledges the need to be meek in his response and to show strength in his weakness.
The speaker declares his intention to change his current situation and seek out a different authority figure. He expresses a desire for a new direction or purpose in his life, indicating a willingness to leave behind what is familiar and pursue something different.
In the final two lines, the speaker addresses his dear God, expressing a plea not to be forgotten. He acknowledges the importance of love for God, stating that if he does not love God, then he should not be loved in return.
These lines reflect the speaker’s determination to navigate his challenges with humility and strength, as well as his deep sense of faith and devotion to God.
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