Stanza I
First came the scream of the dying
in a bad dream, then the radio report,
and a newspaper: six shot dead, twenty-five
houses razed, sixteen beheaded with hands tied
behind their backs inside a church . . .
As the days crumbled, and the victors
and their victims grew in number,
I hardened inside my thickening hide,
until I lost my tenuous humanity.
These lines emphasize the devastating impact of violence, death, and destruction on the narrator’s sense of humanity. The initial description of the scream of the dying in a bad dream, followed by the radio report and newspaper detailing the gruesome events, sets the tone for the horrors that unfold. The mention of six people shot dead, twenty-five houses razed, and sixteen individuals beheaded inside a church highlights the scale and brutality of the violence. As the days pass, the number of victors and victims grows, and the narrator describes hardening inside his thickening hide, suggesting a gradual loss of sensitivity and emotional connection. This hardening leads to a sense of losing his tenuous humanity, indicating a profound impact on his identity and perception of himself. Overall, these lines depict the devastating consequences of violence and the erosion of one’s humanity in the face of such atrocities. The lines also reflect the psychological effects of violence and death on human consciousness.
Stanza II
I ceased thinking
of abandoned children inside blazing huts
still waiting for their parents.
If they remembered their grandmother’s tales
of many winter hearths at the hour
of sleeping death, I didn’t want to know,
if they ever learnt the magic of letters.
And the women heavy with seed,
their soft bodies mown down
like grain stalk during their lyric harvests;
if they wore wildflowers in their hair
while they waited for their men,
I didn’t care anymore.
These lines suggest a sense of detachment and apathy towards the suffering and experiences of others. The narrator describes ceasing to think about abandoned children in burning huts, indicating a lack of concern for their well-being. He also expresses indifference towards whether these children remembered their grandmother’s stories or had the opportunity to learn how to read. The mention of women, heavy with pregnancy, being mown down like grain stalks during harvests further emphasizes the disregard for their lives and the loss of empathy. The narrator no longer cares about the women’s adornment with wildflowers or their waiting for their men. Overall, these lines convey a sense of emotional disconnection and a loss of empathy towards the experiences and struggles of others.
Stanza III
I burnt my truth with them,
and buried uneasy manhood with them.
I did mutter, on some far-off day:
“There are limits”, but when the days
absolved the butchers, I continue to live
as if nothing happened.
These lines highlight a sense of guilt, shame, and a desire to bury one’s own truth and manhood along with the suffering and atrocities witnessed. The narrator expresses burning his truth and burying his uneasy manhood, suggesting a willingness to suppress his own identity and personal experiences in order to distance himself from the horrors he has witnessed. The mention of muttering “There are limits” indicates a recognition of the atrocities committed, but as time passes and the perpetrators go unpunished, the narrator continues to live as if nothing happened. This highlights a sense of resignation, a feeling of being unable to change the circumstances or hold the responsible parties accountable. It portrays the internal struggle of carrying the weight of what has happened while trying to navigate a world that seems to move on without acknowledging or addressing the atrocities.
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